Wiftees News

People Magazine recently posted an online survey: “VOTE! Jennifer Aniston’s Thigh-High Slit: So, So Sexy or Too, Too Much?” You know the kind of survey, the one where you have to vote to see the results. Well shame on me, preliminary numbers are in and I’m going to spoil it for you right here and now. At the most recent tally, 76% said that Jennifer had it “Just Right” at the Golden Globe Awards. 22% said, “A little too high.”

I admit, my hand shook feverishly as I hesitantly clicked on “Just Right” to see the results. People have such bad taste sometimes…I didn’t know what to expect. Now if we could just get Jay Leno and Conan O’brien to start wearing thigh-high slits on late-night. It might be possible to drive ratings high enough to pay both hosts. Then we could even get Jennifer Aniston on as a host, too. It would be like “Live with Regis and Kelly” at late night only a threesome, a Jay-Jennifer-Conan sandwich. They could all be friends.

The world desperately needs America…so that magazines like People have a place to live. If this were China, pics of Jennifer’s Golden Globe Awards dress would be censored, and we wouldn’t be able to ogle her on Google…and then where would we be? China, I guess.