Wiftees News

Two bills are being deliberated in the Georgia state legislature to ban texting while driving in the state. 17 states have already taken similar action, so Georgia is ahead of most states. This is hot news! Georgia’s even ahead of WordPress technologically speaking. I know this because the WordPress spell check just rejected the word “texting” as a misspelling. (Then again, WordPress just rejected “WordPress”….d-ohhh! There it goes again. 3 for 3.)

I contemplated these deep and thorny issues today as I toyed around with my brand new company issue iPhone. (OK, Wordpress just rejected “iPhone” also. It doesn’t reject the names, “Bosch,” “Boswell,” “Terence,” or “Vladimir.” So why does it reject “WordPress” and “iPhone?” Could it be the capitalisation? Nope, not that either…) Anywho, most people seem to understand that texting while driving is a problem. So why do we do it? In fact, why do people get so darn addicted to texting in the first place, let alone texting while driving?

And then it came to me today, as I drove home from the Apple store with a sleek new Bluetooth headset (WordPress rejected “Bluetooth” too. Do you think they would pay me to fix their dictionary?) The addiction isn’t the texting. It’s that evil little iPhone. It’s just so damn sexy. And we’re driving along together…just me and my shiny new little lover-box. It’s laying over there in the passenger seat as I cruise along I-400 at 70 mph. And because an iPhone has that smooth touch-screen, its even better than the Guinea pig my daugher’s friend across the street just got. You pretend to do business all day long but that’s really just an excuse to pet your iPhone…better than a Guinea pig. And the iPhone quietly sits in passenger seat. It doesn’t have to say anything. Our mutual silence is pregnant with it’s neediness, “How can you just leave me here? Why did you stop petting me? Love me! Touch me! Talk to me! TEXT with me…” Ah HAH! This insidious texting thing is a manipulative ploy by our devices for attention.

I had promised myself, you see, just before I got the phone, that I would be responsible with it. I would not dial, surf, or text while driving. I had no idea the phone was to be an iPhone. Handing an iPhone to an electronics lover is like handing a tequila shot to an alcoholic. “It’s just a tiny little glass. Go on. One little shot couldn’t hurt, could it?”

The addiction comes fast and furious with the wonder of the brand new gadget. I suspect it doesn’t have to be an iPhone, either. It could be a Droid or a Blackberry. Anything that comes with cool software and connectivity. So I put the phone back down. I’m still in a bit of a cold sweat, but we’ll get through this together. Me and my iPhone. If anyone wants to start a support group. Just let me know.

The Whiff

People Magazine recently posted an online survey: “VOTE! Jennifer Aniston’s Thigh-High Slit: So, So Sexy or Too, Too Much?” You know the kind of survey, the one where you have to vote to see the results. Well shame on me, preliminary numbers are in and I’m going to spoil it for you right here and now. At the most recent tally, 76% said that Jennifer had it “Just Right” at the Golden Globe Awards. 22% said, “A little too high.”

I admit, my hand shook feverishly as I hesitantly clicked on “Just Right” to see the results. People have such bad taste sometimes…I didn’t know what to expect. Now if we could just get Jay Leno and Conan O’brien to start wearing thigh-high slits on late-night. It might be possible to drive ratings high enough to pay both hosts. Then we could even get Jennifer Aniston on as a host, too. It would be like “Live with Regis and Kelly” at late night only a threesome, a Jay-Jennifer-Conan sandwich. They could all be friends.

The world desperately needs America…so that magazines like People have a place to live. If this were China, pics of Jennifer’s Golden Globe Awards dress would be censored, and we wouldn’t be able to ogle her on Google…and then where would we be? China, I guess.

USA Today continues coverage of Conan’s talks with NBC….”Settlement talks continued Saturday on a deal that would let O’Brien leave NBC and restore Leno to the 11:35 p.m. time slot…” Wow. If I were Conan the Comedian I would be colossally p.o.’d that Jay Leno agrees to retire…Then decides he’s stoked for prime time…Then bombs…Then wants to take back the spot that had been promised to Conan…FOR YEARS??? Talk about getting slapped around by the networks. Are you a woman or a warrior Conan? C’mon! Show us what you’re made of!

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Conan is funnier than Jay. You know its true! He’s just got that goofy charm going on that says “One more laugh before dream-time.” I chuckle at USA Today’s description, “Settlement talks…” Before this one is finished we’re gonna have to bring Jimmy Carter in to help talk everybody down. Would the Carter Center pitch in? I hope not. I want to see Conan go head to head with Jay just to see who wins out on the ratings boards.

I love language, all kinds: the English language, body language, symbolic language, other languages. Because languages are all about connecting. Communication, we call it. But it’s really more about connecting. It’s a beautiful thing. And I occasionally enjoy finding bloopers or mistakes in fictional novels or press. Feels sort of like solving a crossword or playing Scrabble. Like, “Hey! I just found a published typo in a Grisham novel that I bet 1 in 1,000 people didn’t spot!” So I spotted one today on an ABC News blog. See if you can catch it (I’ll give the answer at the bottom):

“Democrats are near the finish line on health care legislation but they have yet to overcome one of the biggest hurdles — merging the Senate and House bills together.

Although Congress is officially still in recession, key lawmakers are actively involved in intense negotiations to merge the two different bills that, while similar, have some important differences between them.

Experts say Congress is likely to pass the health care bill, but the political ramifications remain to be seen. “

Did you catch it? Here it is: “Although Congress is officially still in recession….” Wow, what great timing for that little blooper! It’s no biggy, really, but it is kinda funny. Should have said: “Congress is officially still in recess…” Now, technically speaking, America is supposed to be out of the recession, the big kahuna we just experienced, so to speak.

In a way though, I suppose, Congress is still in recession, because the recovery has repeatedly been referred to as the “jobless recovery,” and last week at the annual economists convention in San Francisco a continuing undercurrent seemed to be…”Are we out of the woods?” Even Ben Bernanke seemed concerned as to whether Congress was doing enough to reign in banks.

Regardless, I’m not too worried about Congress missing out on their recess. They get just a wee bit more vacation than 99.99% of the rest of American…even when we are in recession.

Cheers,
The Whiff

One of my personal faves for podcasts is Russ Robert’s “Econtalk.” Professor Roberts of George Mason University hosts weekly interviews with brilliant thought leaders on all manner of economics and really just makes the “dismal science” accessible to everyday people.

Recently, Professor Roberts interviewed Dr. Arnold Kling on “Prosperity, Poverty, and Economics 2.0.” Econtalk’s summary of the broadcast sums up much of the dicussion pretty well:

“The focus of the modern understanding is on ideas and the ability of ideas to improve technology, leading to prosperity. Unlike physical capital, ideas can be enjoyed by many people at once, explaining why past models that ignored ideas and focused on physical capital failed to account for the observed magnitude of economic development. Kling also discusses the success of China and India.”

The point is really pretty simple: Ideas are what enable us to move beyond the notion of scarcity of goods and proliferate abundance…thus raising the standard of living for massive populations.

Interestingly, though, this “proliferation of ideas” takes off right about the time we start burning coal and converting iron to steal….The question may be: How do we maintain increased productivity as resources and energy become scarcer in coming generations. Neither petroleum nor coal lie in unbounded reserves.

At least part of the answer may very well lie in the shift toward “green” energy which depends in a larger part on renewable sources. As we trend toward more renewable sources (solar, wind, tidal) we also trend toward more distributive energy generation (as opposed to concentrated energy generation at, say, a coal plant).

The implications of a renewable energy model may penetrate deeper into productivity than we realize: All businesses rely on energy. If we begin relying on energy from a nominally “free” source (sun or wind) then a cost factor is trimmed from every business model that exists. In other words, moving to renewable energy could ultimately help trim the cost of every business enterprise on the planet…because the energy would no longer be drawn through a constrained resource (petroleum or coal). Getting there is just a matter of getting to scale. The sooner the better.